Important to know social boundaries, where to draw the line
Ron Gamble
Issue date: 11/14/07 Section: Commentary
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A few months later, in April 2007, shock jock Don Imus characterized the Rutgers University women's basketball team with some racially and sexually-offensive epithets. Shortly after this ordeal, according to CBS radio, many of the show's major sponsors dropped the show. Imus, too, met with Rev. Al Sharpton and Rev. Jesse Jackson to apologize.
Isiah Thomas, president and coach of the New York Knicks, was recently found guilty of sexual harassment toward a former Knicks employee. In September, Thomas went on record to state his position about the use of the term 'bitch,' and said he thought the term was less offensive when black men use it toward black females as opposed to white men using it toward black women.
The star of the show Dog the Bounty Hunter, Duane "Dog" Chapman, made racially-offensive remarks to his son about his son's black girlfriend and in a privately- taped conversation.
In the conversation, Dog spoke of how he didn't think using the n-word was a problem, and that he wouldn't lose his career just because his son's girlfriend heard him use the term.
Well now Dog is doing damage control trying to salvage his career.
The irony in Dog's situation is that it wasn't his son's girlfriend that turned over the tape but his very own son, not to mention the fact that everything he said on the tape about not losing what he's worked for is what he is now dealing with. Of course, you know he is trying to speak with Rev. Sharpton also.
Cultural-level rules are general conduct regulations or guidelines used to communicate with people on a day-to-day basis. Those who follow cultural-level rules have more formal conversation in hopes of staying impersonal and steering clear of anything that may be perceived as offensive.
It is possible to laugh and have enjoyable dialog as long as the conversation doesn't offend those who are participating and exhibits respect for those involved.
Psychological-level rulers are where we feel most comfortable, because this is our personal setting with close family and friends. In this dimension there is a great deal of self-disclosure, and with this knowledge we are able to determine what can be included or excluded in dialog with peers to keep from offending them.
In viewing each of these vocal individuals who have said more than anyone cared to hear, it is clear we have a respect problem. We don't respect our coworkers, classmates, professors or neighbors and don't show common courtesy.
If you have a problem with someone, you can do one of two things: Meet that person face to face or hold on to whatever you believe is the problem without accomplishing anything.
Having a disagreement with someone is not a crime but passing judgment on a person or a whole community is not acceptable. If you have the option of telling a joke/remark and that joke/remark can be seen as offensive to those around you, don't!
It's better to be safe than sorry. Remember it's easier to ask for someone's opinion than to apologize after the fact. Know where the social boundaries are.
Contact Ron Gamble at rwgamble@iupui.edu.
2008 Woodie Awards
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